Monday, April 26, 2010

Worry

I am a chronic worrier. My life has been based on worry and fear for, well, just about 6 years now. I've been married 7 years this August. Which basically means that the vast majority of my married life has been spent creating more wrinkles in my forehead than most people my age. I would also say I am 70% gray-haired at this point (thank God for hair dye).

But recently, I've been realizing something that should be super obvious, and probably is to most people.

Worrying really gets me nowhere.

I have spent countless hours freaking out over smallish things--money, Greg's job, my future career, how Sam will do in school, the car breaking down... you get the idea.

All of these worries are very practical, which makes them feel sane. But worry isn't sane. It makes you feel worse inside than you feel when you are sick, and it can actually *make* you sick in that stress can lower your resistance to illness and cause problems with digestion, and it ages people.

I have also been really snippy and irritable with my family, which makes our home life rather miserable. Greg comes home from a stressed out day at work to a stressed out wife. That does not help him any more than it helps me.

So, I've been intentionally trying *not* to worry for about 3 days now. I have been trying to take a 'que sera' approach toward all my fears. God is going to do what God is going to do. Worst case senario? Greg loses his job, we lose our home, our kids are put in foster care, we move to the street and die of starvation. I mean, if we're talking about taking it to the ultimate extreme--but I really doubt that's going to happen, because we have people surrounding us who love us and will help us through whatever happens. But even if that *were* to happen, we would be in heaven.

The worst thing that ever happened to our family was Greg getting cancer. It was not something expected, and it was not something that could be helped (other than treating it once we knew it was there). God got us through it, though, and if we can get through that, I think we can get through just about anything.

We are still praying for all the other stuff still...

1 comment:

Rachel Ann said...

I <3 you.