Friday, March 27, 2009

Creepy Facial Hair and Where Does the Diet Begin

-- As most of you already know, Greg sports a nearly-constant goatee. I occassionally will make him shave it off for the sake of kissability. When it gets to a certain length, it's kind of like making out with a hairbrush with lips. I have difficulty in enjoying our, er, "us time" when it gets to this point. So I will beg and plead that he trim the cactus living on his face, and he is usually pretty sweet and compliant about it all. HOWEVER--Greg takes great joy in getting my goat (no pun intended) by shaving with *creativity*. Oh, I wish I had a picture. Greg will shave. But due to his love of performing, he will shave in STAGES. Each stage leads to less goatee and more creepiness. He loves to take on various personas depending on what his goatee looks like (farmer, horny pepe le pew-like man-person, Boris from Rocky and Bullwinkle, etc). It usually takes him about 45 minutes to get the job done because of this. And with every "stage" of shavedness, he will come out of the bathroom to show me the latest shape/accent combo. For some reason, I find his creepy facial hair super-disturbing and usually run away in terror. Of course, this leads to him chasing me around the house, using his accent, and it's all very married and wonderful and I love it even though I'm annoyed. Eventually he does shave it all, but not without some major nagging on my part. Do all men do this? Or is it just a Greg thing? Ren Faire is next week. We are taking my sister's family for the first time. I am very excited, but I have a feeling the latest goatee will be coming along with us, whether I like it or not.

--10-year-reunion is less than 5 months away and I have got to lose some of this baby weight, or I'm just going to feel self-conscious the whole time I'm there. One of my favorite movies ever is "Grosse Point Blank". In it, Joan Cusack's character talks about her 10-year reunion. She says, "Yes I did [go to my 10-year-reunion]. It was just as if everyone had swelled."

I DON'T WANT TO BE SWOLLEN!

Funny thing is, I never gave weight a thought then. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and stayed as skinny as I wanted to be. This lasted through college. Darned metabolism. Seriously. It's like once you get married and have babies, your body says, "Okay, you've procreated. You can be fat now." The kiddos are worth it, but man! It is a lot of work getting rid of all this extra poundage. I am having serious issues getting started.

Anybody up for being a diet-fitness partner with me?

2 comments:

harmijo said...

I'll partner up with you friend :) I have...well a lot of weight to lose before my sisters wedding in November :P If you think metabolism slows now, before your even thirty, just wait until you're about to hit forty (yep this November is 40 for me)! It metabolism is just about dead, or maybe it's just me, ha, ha.

Oooh! Are you going out to the big ren faire out by Magic Mountain? How fun! We used to go to that one all of the time when I was a kid.

I always wanted to get authentic clothes like you guys have, but we never did :P We only have one ren faire here and it is lame I hear, not at all authentic :( I like to dress up in period pieces anytime there is an excuse! Now if I could just find an occasion and some authentic clothing for it....

Your friend Heidi

jeff said...

hehe...this cracked me up. when i let my beard go for a week+, then i'll shave it creatively. with a full beard it's so much fun because you can create patterns on your WHOLE FACE. wee!